Letter to America: Bordering On The Rediculous

by | Wednesday 2 March 2016

Sydney Australia
February 2016
Letter to America

Bordering On The Rediculous

G’day Americans,

We’re absolutely astounded down here by all the hoo-hah over your Southern Border.

Bernie seems keen to embrace Mexico by getting rid of it altogether and from our perspective this could offer a number of compelling benefits.

The drug cartels would be spared the expense of digging tunnels which could lead to a lower price for cocaine. What’s more extraditing El Chapo wouldn’t be a problem. The FBI could just pop down and pick him up.

Trump’s immigration policies would be history and all US cities would automatically become ‘sanctuary’.

The people smugglers would be put out of business and the influx of refugees would soon intensify to the point where South America would start at the Canadian border.

On the other hand Trump’s Southern Border policies also offer a number of attractive incentives.

It would initiate a boom in the wall-building industry, promote family reunions throughout South America, offer renewed career prospects to Mexican tunnel-diggers and force terrorists to enter the US via Canada.

The Pope’s suggestion of building bridges across the border does have the merit of offering refugees and drug smugglers a much more scenic access to the US than through tunnels.

It is interesting to note that Bernie’s plan to abolish the Southern Border seems to go against current worldwide trends. There are signs that the UK is keen to redraw the line between itself and the EU and rather than getting rid of their boundaries both Putin and ISIS are aggressively pushing them.

In order to justify building the longest wall in the world Trump would probably need to designate it as multi-purpose. For example it could comprise motel accommodation for the millions in transit back to Mexico and provide Bernie with another Wall St to rail against.

Alternatively the Pope’s bridge concept might possibly provide a convenient route past the wall and the opportunity to collect tolls.

There is however another way of looking at the wall. Perhaps it is essentially part of a grand plan to Trump China by superseding their Great Wall as one of the world’s greatest tourist attractions.

Meanwhile it is interesting to speculate whether the Pope will continue to criticise Trump’s immigration policies as he sits behind the Vatican City Wall in an environment alien to Muslims.

Roger Pugh